Film Review - Primate (2026)

Primate is a new Horror movie starring Troy Kotsur as an author who lets his young daughters and their friends (Johnny Sequoyah, Jessica Alexander, Victoria Wyant and Gia Hunter) use his remote island house while he heads away to deal with a potential movie deal for his book series but also living there is Ben a Primate pet who ends up infected with Rabies and goes haywire on the young cast.

“No Ben No”

And that was pretty much my headspace watching this movie because this is a classic example of the January Horror Movie that comes out and it sucks the big one, last year it was the Wolf Man coughing up a hairball this year its Primate and it is really really bad.

And the main reason for this is that it is dull to sit through, most of the movie takes place at night and like most movies nowadays it has not a clue as to how to light nighttime scenes properly and it makes you sit there going “TURN THE LIGHT ON!!!” because all you can really see is this murky digital fog and some decent enough lighting but most of the time you can’t see a fucking thing.

The other big problem with this movie is that it simply isn’t scary at all, Ben the Monkey just leaps around, yells a bit and bashes people with its arms and you don’t feel any sense of fright or jeopardy or tension in those scenes and the horror kills that are there just have that same digital blood in them that looks more like red Cottees Cordial and it REALLY doesn’t help that Send Help another horror movie also came out in January and proved you could have a great time at a Horror movie and also have proper looking fake blood.

The young cast are perfectly fine and I hope I see some of them again in future movies but the near waste of Troy Kotsur an Academy Award winner and from Foundation an outstanding streaming series from Apple TV is my last major problem as he doesn’t have as big a role as I wish he did but hey he as an Oscar so he can do any role he wants, get paid and have his cast and crew learn sign language so he can be directed and act with his co-stars so easy come easy go.

And so that was Primate and it sucks, watch Send Help instead, 1 out of 5.