Film Review - The Wolverine (2013)

The 2nd film to feature the Wolverine on his own, the story here concerns Logan (Hugh Jackman) heading to Japan to repay an old debt that he was owed some years before, but the world he will see there will have more than old debts to be paid off but murder and intrigue.

It would be fair say that I went into this new Wolverine film actually pretty optimistically, I liked the preview that I saw before Iron Man 3 earlier this year and I began to think "This could be a nice surprise", was that to be the case?

Well sadly not as the film is for the most part pretty forgettable, don't get me wrong it's far from terrible and there are numerous things I liked about it.

The first of those is Jackman himself, his dedication to this role and his passion for it really shines through every time he's on screen and it's not hard to get caught up in his struggle as the film plays on, with the exception of Christopher Reeve as Superman and Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man it's hard to imagine another actor embodying a major superhero character as much as Jackman has as Wolverine and he doesn't disappoint here.

The second is Svetlana Khodchenkova as one of the film's chief villains, she was simply awesome and I loved her in this, she was charismatic, charming and deadly all at once as well as very dashing in green and she definitely lit up the film when she was on screen.

But apart from those let me just say this, the film is rather forgettable as the film's story didn't engage me very much and the climax in a Japanese tower was really boring with another big CGI robot as the final obstacle and it plays out like the final level in a Wolverine video game and as such, I just sat there bored by it all.

So all in all, I was not a huge fan of the Wolverine despite its lead actor and key villain delivering good performances and following the fantastic "Pacific Rim" this just doesn't slice the concrete with the claws, 2 out of 5.

Film Review - I Give it a Year (2013)

I Give it a Year stars Rafe Spall as Josh and Rose Byrne as Nat, two people who fall in love and get married within a few months of dating, but the road to married life is rife with bumps and potholes as they will indeed find out for themselves.

As for whether you should find out this movie well I'll be blunt, you shouldn't give this film a minute let alone the 97 the film goes for, the film is unfunny, horrible and at times very distasteful in its tone, I actually sat there going through what would have to be every human emotion known to man as the film went on.

The film also wastes what on paper sounds like a great cast; I mean you have Byrne, Spall, Simon Baker, Anna Faris, Minnie Driver and Steven Merchant but all of them and I mean all of them are wasted, the worst of all is Byrne who is funny and charming and immensely likeable plus she has a great gift for mastering accents as she shows in this movie and when she did an American one in X-Men First Class but here she's left doing a role that was clearly intended for Keira Knightley and if she said no to this well she went up a few notches in my book.

But my main issue with this movie is yet again the horrible treatment dished out to the female characters as they're yelled at, treated like shit and forced into a number of positions that just made me VERY angry, I am really getting fed up not just to the back teeth but to the very top of my head with this sort of shit when it comes to women in the movies, Dan Mazer the man responsible for this garbage as well as the other male writers who try to write women characters in films in this manner should just hang their heads in absolute shame as it is quite frankly well I've lost the words for how much this fucking irritates me.

But you know something else there was a part of me that was actually kind of looking forward to this movie, mainly due to the preview I saw for it making me laugh and thinking "That looks pretty good and I like that cast so I'll keep an eye out for it", how wrong I was as there is no joke that is worth a laugh and the romantic clichés are just that bloody dull you just go "For God's sake just sit down and talk to each other please or better yet MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED SO FUCKING SOON AFTER YOU STARTED DATING EACH OTHER"

Smegging hell no wonder people wait 2 or 3 years before deciding to propose, at least then you know for sure if you want to spend 20 or 30 years with that person, Jesus some simple logic and common sense could have improved this movie immeasurably but alas it soldiers on in its stupidity in the hope some bloody moron out there will find something to go "Ha Ha Ha Ha" about, fucking hell man go and do something else more fulfilling instead of wasting your time with this fucking rubbish.

And lastly there was one positive I got from this movie and that was my desire for the three supervillains from "Superman II" to come into this movie and kill everyone in it and then trash where they live for good measure, not exactly a traditional positive but it made me smile whilst watching this crap.

So yeah, I Give it a Year is now my leading contender for the worst film of 2013, making me as infuriated as last year's most hated film of mine "Any Questions for Ben?" and like that film it stinks like a dead cat in the middle of the road populated by mean spirited bitchy lice, avoid it at all costs, 0 out of 5.

Film Review - Epic (2013)

Epic is the latest animated film from Blue Sky studios makes of Ice Age and Rio and the story concerns Mary Katherine (Amanda Seyfried) who is sent to live with her eccentric father after her mother dies, her father is a Scientist who believes that tiny people live in the forest and are fighting it out for control, a battle Mary herself may find herself involved in.

Epic is sadly a disappointment for me, the trailers I saw for the film a few months ago looked Intriguing and it reminded me somewhat of Avatar in terms of its look and feel.

But alas as I was watching the film a lot of it fell flat as a lot of the film's quiet moments don't have any life to them as they look rather dull and the voice acting is only passable at best, Seyfried is probably the best of the lot here because she at least has a try at bringing something to her role that wasn't there and her scientist father should've been voiced by Rene Auberjonois who was Odo on Deep Space Nine as the character looked like him and his voice tried to sound like him somewhat, then again he isn't a celebrity so we can't do that.

There was however one thing I did like and that was the battle visuals, they are actually pretty good with the swooping camera and flowing edits it really gives you a sense of life that the film around them does not which is a really sad shame to say given that when you're watching them they really do impress you.

But alas, they can't save Epic from being one of the year's disappointments for me and sadly unless you have kids, then skip it, 1.5 out of 5.

Film Review - Pacific Rim (2013)

Pacific Rim is directed by Guillermo Del Toro and the story concerns alien life coming not from the stars but down in the deep of the Pacific, giant monsters called Kaiju, humanity's best weapon is the Jaegar's, giant robots piloted by two people who can fight back but now the time has come to cancel this apocalypse.

I really don't know where to begin in terms of describing the experience I had watching this movie in a cinema, other than it will most definitely rank as one of my all time favourite cinema experiences and I mean every word of that as this is simply fantastic filmmaking from start to finish and I just sat there engulfed right from the start.

I mean I was smiling, clapping, gripping my jaw, cheering and just feeling ecstatic at the sheer joy that's in this film, Del Toro's script and direction are spot on the money and they make you feel that what you are watching is believable in terms of how the rules work in terms of the Jaeger's and in how the Kaiju come to and from our world.

But I have to talk about the spectacle this film has and it is simply mind blowing, there Gypsy Danger robot which has a head similar to Optimus Prime and it made me think of Prime every time he was on screen, hell there was one moment where I sang to myself "do do do do, You've got the Touch, do do do do, You've got the Powerrrrrr, YEAH" and after that said to myself "One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall" before he fought the giant Kaiju in Hong Kong Bay and when it went down it was like seeing Prime fall fighting Megatron in the animated Transformers movie, it's extremely rare for a CG creation to illicit that response but boy did it do so.

But coming back to that spectacle, the fight scenes and special effects on the whole are as I said just mind blowing as you really feel the height and the weight and the impact the Jaeger's and the Kaiju have when they're fighting and it also makes you get really tense in the throat and clutching your jaw as well, it was such a joyous feeling to have I couldn't tell you.

But my praise for this film is far from over for I have to talk about the score by Ramin Djawadi and it sets the tone so well that you find yourself tapping your feet to it as it plays in the film and the cinematography Guillermo Navaro is just beautiful with the neon lighting, the interiors of the Jaeger's as well as the Base they live in.

But lastly I have to talk about this more personal point in regards to the film, watching it reminded me so much of those cinema experiences that I love like the Star Wars Trilogy, Aliens, Aladdin, Argo, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hot Fuzz and the first 2 Mad Max films to name as examples, this film sits with those for me for that reason in that when I watched them I was a different person afterwards, something that is hard to describe on paper somewhat but when you tell them then they understand.

So all in all, Pacific Rim is well worth your money and for me I cannot wait to see it again and relive that experience all over again as this is simply one of my favourite cinema experiences I've ever had, 5 out of 5.

CEL: Building the Entertainment Revolution

Earlier this year I was inspired to do a column about my love of the early Roadshow Home Video releases from 1982-1985 mostly even though I love the Village Roadshow era about as much but recently I became inspired to do another one about another particular brand of Aussie VHS tapes.

And that is for Communications and Entertainment Limited or CEL for short, you might remember their releases from such films as 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dino Riders and Gaslight.

CEL were simply giants in the field of Australian VHS releases and that is mainly due to the fact that in September of 1985 they took the then extraordinary step towards sell through versions of their cassettes which meant that for the first time you could own your very own copy of one of their releases as well as being able to rent it.

These sell through versions were also reasonably priced, ranging from 19.95 to 24.95 for the most part and their spin off labels included MGM/UA, Australian Video, Muppet Home Video, Star Video and Embassy Home Entertainment, these allowed to release classic Black and White titles as well as titles like That's Entertainment, The Man from Snowy River, Escape from New York and The Dark Crystal.

But why did they take this extreme step at a time when movies on tape were mainly known for being rented rather than owned, well it was quite simple, people should be able to buy their own copy of the movies they want to keep rather than just rent them all the time, after all people did with books and records so logically it made sense to do the same with films on video.

And boy did CEL promote this as much as they could with many of their tapes carrying the banner of "Another CEL Entertainment Revolution Presentation" as if it was a flag on the battlefield, the sound of trumpets played and cannons blasted through the TV speakers and a giant cannon came right at the viewer up close on their TV before firing the CEL logo out of it.

And it proved to be a major success, selling 2 million cassettes in its first year for a $40 million dollar profit, not bad considering the times in which it launched when tapes were expensive to own (most selling for about $100 and even then only to video stores) and video players themselves worth a pretty penny and having to fight off the rival machine Betamax (Oh No, Beta.)

But hey when the going's good you join em and in August of 1986, Roadshow and their subsidiaries followed suit and launched their own sell through line with titles like First Blood, The Terminator, Mad Max, Gallipoli, Dumbo and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and in October of 1989 CIC-Taft also joined the market after long resisting such a move with titles like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Footloose, The Breakfast Club and Back to the Future.

But as for CEL the good times didn't last and as the 80's went on their standing began to fall in terms of competing with companies like Roadshow in terms of big video titles in both of its rental and retail arms and in 1989 they were delisted from the Australian Stock Exchange for failing to pay the annual fees which later led to their filing for bankruptcy in 1999.

It would be a sad end to such an important company on the Australian video market but while this happened, the legacy they left behind will live on, mainly due to that decision of theirs regarding the retail video market for it was them that said that film lovers should be able to own their own copies of their favorite films at a reasonable price and helping to set in motion the other studios to do the same for while Roadshow may have had more appealing titles in their retail launch would they have been as successful if CEL hadn't set the pace and laid the groundwork before them, it's very unlikely but they did and you know something, all of us who love films in Australia should be very grateful that they did, I certainly am.

Film Review - Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

Oz the Great and Powerful is the first film since Return to Oz in 1985 to take place in the land on the other side of the rainbow where you follow the yellow brick road, the story this time concerns Oscar (James Franco) a small time magician who wants to be known as a great man not just a small time trickster, but his chance may come when he finds himself caught in a tornado and in the land called Oz.

As for this new Oz movie well it's not that Great nor is it very powerful and you know something its boring, I sat there bored out of my mind for the most part and being constantly reminded of the original Wizard of Oz as I kept watching, for example:

- The opening is in black and white and full frame, just like in the original

- Michelle Williams pops up in that segment and has that same wide eyed look that Dorothy had, just like in the original

- There's the yellow brick road and the wicked witch, just like in the original

And finally there's the nature of Oz himself that was just like the original was, now I know that this is all required given that this film leads into that film but that film is one of the most beloved films of all time and has inspired countless generations as well as some of the world's top filmmakers.

But aside from all of that let me just say this, most of this movie as I said is a bore to watch as there's very little wonder to the land of Oz this time as it's all just really bland CGI that you can see through almost right away and just kept reminding me of the world of Pandora in Avatar which to my mind feels much more like a modern day land of Oz with all the wonder and majesty and imagination that comes with it but then that film was directed by James Cameron and this was directed by Sam Raimi.

And to build on that point I found Raimi's direction very lacking and lacklustre, I mean I've heard that Raimi has this way with the camera very few directors do but here as was the case with his Spider-Man movies it's not here, it was there in Drag Me to Hell and I loved that film but here he's just going through the motions whereas Cameron's Avatar feels like a proper big screen spectacle that has heart, imagination and excitement, all three of which are missing big time in this movie.

And as for the story well it seems very disconnected and rather forgettable as it just does the usual thing of ancient prophecies of the chosen one who will come and free the land from a great evil that rules it all and that the chosen one will be the most unlikely person imaginable and as for the magic show at the beginning of the film all it did was make me think of "Arabian Nights" from Aladdin.

As for Franco well he's okay but I couldn't help but think that it should've been Robert Downey Jr in this role as was originally planned, I mean who better than to play this character than him given that Oz is a trickster and a con artist, we've seen how Downey can completely own a role with his work as Tony Stark and this film could've really benefited from his charisma and presence as Franco does not deliver in this role and as a result the film as a whole feels empty.

But those that do are the best things about this movie and they are Williams who reminds you a lot of Dorothy from the original film with her wide eyed optimism and sense of wonder, Jodi King as the little China Girl and Zach Braff as the flying monkey servant, all three of them are very good and help to get you interested in what is going on in the movie.

Rachel Weisz and Mila Kunis meanwhile are simply okay, Weisz is the better of the two and tries to do something with her role but Kunis is just bland and as far as I'm concerned only here because she's a young gorgeous A list star who appeals to the geeks out there and who can also help sell tickets when outside of comedy roles she's not that good of an actress and here it shows at times.

So yeah, I was not a huge fan of this new Oz movie, it's an empty, heartless, bland and boring fantasy movie that is simply not worth anyone's time or money, rent the original Wizard of Oz and Avatar instead as those are very much worth your time and money instead, 1 out of 5.

Film Review - The Last Stand (2013)

The Last Stand stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as Sherriff Ray Owens who quit his LA Narcotics position to become Sherriff of Sommerton, a small desert town but this quiet little town is about to have a fast getaway in Louis Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) as he's trying for the Mexican border and Freedom.

I went into the Last Stand very excited as I'm a big fan of some of Arnold's earlier films, most notable the first two Terminator films, the first Predator film, the original Conan the Barbarian and the original Total Recall film from 1990, could this film signal that he was back or not?

Well sadly not as this film is a major disappointment for me, the main reason is that the film is not exciting, not funny nor is it a great deal of fun, instead the film is boring, dull and tedious in equal measure as you just sit there watching the scenes unfold on screen and they just come across as so lifeless that you just sit there getting more and more bored out of your brain as the film goes on.

And as for Arnold himself well he's okay but like Harrison Ford, its well and truly time he hung up his boots and sailed off into the sunset as this film like Ford's recent Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Plastic Prop sorry Crystal Skull and Cowboys and Aliens, it just tarnishes the fond memories you have of him in his prime in those 5 classics I mentioned earlier, here he has his moments for sure but all I kept thinking that he's become a tired old man trying to relive the glory days one last time and it makes me very sad to say that.

There was one thing however I did like and that was Jamie Alexander, you might remember her as one of the warriors three in Thor and she was actually pretty good here, more than holding her own against Arnold and becomes the one bright spot in what is a very dull action picture, I hope to see more of her in the future.

But as to whether you should see this movie, don't just don't bother with it at all, especially if you're a big Schwarzenegger fan like I am and I hate to say this because of that fact, if you want a fun throwback to 1980's action days of yore rent Dredd or the first Taken film instead as they do that job much better than this does, it's a major disappointment, 1 out of 5.

Film Review - Beautiful Creatures (2013)

Based off the young adult novel, Beautiful Creatures stars Aidan Ehrenreich as Ethan, a young boy who moves to a small southern town in the US and who finds himself attracted to Lena (Alice Englert, daughter of veteran director Jane Campion) but Lena has a very dark secret within her, one that could find her tempted by the dark side of the Force.

Beautiful Creatures was for me, a very nice surprise, not taking too long to pull me into its interesting world and the dilemma of its main characters, Englert has clearly learnt a thing or two from her famous mum and is actually pretty good, in fact her struggle reminded me an awful lot of Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars Trilogy and especially his training to be a Jedi in The Empire Strikes Back in that he feels the Force but cannot control it, not too similar to Lena's power here, the Force is strong with her but she isn't a Jedi yet.

As for Ehrenreich well he's fine but is easily the weaker of the two, at times he comes across as too buff for the role and I wish that it was a skinnier person as you might have gotten the more sensitive side of him a lot more than what you see here and as for their love story well another favorite of mine came to me and that was Highlander in that it is foolish for someone like Lena as it was told to Connor MacLeod in that film to love a mortal as all that will happen is pain and tragedy and during some of those moments I was reminded of "Who wants to Live Forever" from that film.

But apart from that, the film also has some other good performers, notable Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum and Jeremy Irons, Irons is immensely charming in this movie and could easily have been the scene stealer had it not been for Rossum who takes the cake in that department, she is simply downright sexy in this film and the moment she struts on screen she leaves an impact and although she goes a little too over the top, she definitely becomes the show stealer.

Irons meanwhile to come back to him also reminded me a little bit of Sir Alec Guiness from the Star Wars Trilogy in terms of some of his character moments, in fact I was reciting in my mind some of Alec's lines from Empire during some scenes.

As for Davis and Emma Thompson well they're okay and Davis is pretty good but Thompson I felt wasn't in the film long enough to really have much of an impact in terms of events as she has too few scenes in the film.

So all in all, I was surprisingly taken by Beautiful Creatures in terms of its story and characters and elements of it reminding me so much of Star Wars and Highlander, the Force is strong with this one so I very highly recommend it, 4 out of 5.