Blu-Ray Review - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2012)

The Film:

An American adaptation of the hit novel by the late Swedish novelist Steig Larsson (he died in 2004 of a fatal heart attack), the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is directed by well known director David Fincher and adapted by screenwriter Steven Zaillian who also co-wrote Moneyball and also wrote the 1985 thriller the Falcon and the Snowman among his credits.

This version stars Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander and Daniel Craig as Mikael Blomkvist, Blomkvist has been convicted of Libel charges in a Swedish court and is down on his luck but an opportunity to escape the bad press comes from Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer) who asks him to investigate a decades old family murder mystery which has more to it than at first glance.

Having not seen the 2009 Swedish adaptation which starred Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth and Michael Nyqvist as Blomkvist I went into this version cold and came out the other end delighted, it was dark, edgy, had a great story and had two great characters in Blomkvist and Lisbeth and in terms of her Mara is the real show stealer which is quite a feat considering the cast includes Craig, Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard, Steven Berkoff, Robin Wright and Joely Richardson, not bad at all for a young and generally unknown actress prior to this, hopefully this leads to good fortunes in the future for her.

The Video:

This Blu-Ray release is a 2 disc release with one disc for the film and another for the extras.

The Video here is simply beautiful to watch, brilliantly capturing Jeff (son of Blade Runner DP Jordan) Cronenweth's impressive cinematography with its combination of deep blacks, ice cold blues, vibrant colours and pastels of fiery red, it's an impressive transfer no matter which way you look at it.

The Audio:

The main audio track is a 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track and is probably more impressive than the video transfer was, being effective when it needs to be and being quiet when it needs to be, it's also a nice example of a HD sound mix that finds a nice middle ground between making sure the dialogue is easy to hear and the music and sound not be overpowering which can sometimes happen.

The mix also nicely recreates Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross's score (the opening titles sound very impressive) and Ren Klyce's sound design (when you see the scenes of snow, you'll start freezing as well even though your just watching it) so all in all this is a fine sound mix.

The Extras:

David Fincher is well known for creating in depth special edition releases for almost all of his movies and this film is no exception and there is a lot to watch here and surprisingly all of it is pretty good.

This starts on the feature disc with a solo commentary track by Fincher himself which is a very clinical look at making the film with many topics covered such as casting, creating the snow in some shots, title song ideas and even revealing the name of the Cat used in the film which saddened me a little as I liked the fact he was just called Cat, still its a good commentary.

Disc 2 is where the vast bulk of the extras lie and the menu here is brilliant set in the Vanger warehouse archives that Lisbeth uses in the film to aid Blomkvist in his investigation.

It starts off with a featurette called "Men who Hate Women" which kicks off proceedings nicely with a general overview of the cast and crew's thoughts on the book and the original Swedish film.

From there the extras divide into 4 separate categories; "Characters", "On Location", "Post Production" and "Promotion."

The first section "Characters" has three segments in itself concerning Lisbeth, Mikael and Martin Vanger.

Starting off with the Lisbeth section we have 6 features, the first of which is "Casting Salander" which is a general look at the casting process and how Mara came on board to play Lisbeth in the first place, Mara comes across here as a very interesting interviewee and at times a funny one as does Trish Summerville the Costume Designer who looks like Lisbeth in her own way in these featurettes, a good look at the casting of such a pivotal character.

Featurette - Different in Every Way: This featurette looks at the impact of the Lisbeth character in current day pop culture, some interesting observations are made in terms of her character but it kinda feels like an overview of Lisbeth as a whole though it is an interesting one nonetheless.

Featurette - The Look of Salander: A general piece about Lisbeth's overall look ranging from the piercings to the hair and clothing that she wears in the film, Summerville makes some interesting points here as do some of the other interviewees in terms of differentiating Mara's look from Noomi Rapace's look, a good featurette.

Featurette - Mara/Fincher: A general look at Mara and Fincher's working relationship throughout the movie, probably the closest to a complimentary featurette on the entire disc set.

Featurette - Irene Nesser: A look at how the scenes where Lisbeth disguises herself as Irene were made, Mara gives out some good comments here and there is some cool production footage here as well.

Salander Test Footage: In August 2010 David Fincher filmed Mara dressed up as Lisbeth walking around Los Angeles to see how it would look before main production on the film was underway, this is interesting in a sense given that this was clearly filmed on DV video and you can see the compression artifacts at times, still this is a most interesting early look at Mara in the character and am glad to see it here in full.

Following that, we go into the section on Blomkvist where there are only 4 features.

The first is a featurette about the casting of Blomkvist which is really Daniel Craig talking about his first meeting with Fincher after the release of Fight Club and wanting to do the film with him, Craig comes across as very charming in his interview sections and also feels like the kind of fellow you'd want to have a beer with, not bad for an actor of his stature.

Featurette - Daniel Craig on Film Acting: A short feature where Craig talks a little bit about his process in regards to film acting, not bad though a little short.

Featurette - Dressing Blomkvist: Another costume feature which this time looks at designing Blomkvist's costumes for the length of the film, some interesting observations are made in terms of wanting to differentiate Craig from his Bond costumes and making him look more down to earth, interesting stuff.

Investigation Still Galleries: Some very cool galleries taking you into some of the pictures taken for the film, the cottage where Blomkvist stays and even a Vanger Industries newsletter for the most part, some nice gems are to be found here and they are well worth a look.

And finally we come to our final Character segment which focuses on Martin Vanger, this has 6 features in it also.

The first is another Film Acting feature this time with Skarsgard who comes across as borderline eccentric but in a very fun way, as with Craig's feature this is a short feature about Skarsgard talking about his process and comparing working with Fincher with Lars Von Trier, Skarsgard has always been a favorite of mine and it was a pleasure to see him in this movie.

Featurette - Psychopathy: Skarsgard talks about the process of playing his character in the movie, so some minor spoilers are revealed if you haven't seen the film yet so I suggest not watching any of the extras until doing so, still this is a fun feature due to Skarsgard's fun charm.

Featurette - Bondage: The first of some very cool production features which takes you into a firsthand look at the making of the film, this one looks at the creation of the torture device used in one of the film's climatic moments and its very cool to see Fincher hard at work to make this happen.

Featurette - Torture: Another production featurette about the making of the torture sequence, some very cool production footage is found here as with the previous featurette.

Featurette - Wrapped in Plastic: An extremely cool look at how the Point of View shots of the Plastic bags were created, a process which I won't spoil here but again it plays into a key climatic moment.

Set Design Galleries: Some more straightforward still galleries regarding some of the films sets, not as good as the investigation ones but still really cool to see here.

And that's that with the character sections, next we move on the Production section which is divided between the shoot in Sweden and Hollywood, first off is the Sweden section which has 5 features.

Featurette - Stockholm Syndrome: A general overlook at filming in Sweden and the problems this brought in regards to the Swedish crew plus a look at why this new American version chose to shoot there, terrific stuff.

Featurette - Stockholm's Tunnelbana: For such a small scene in the film, the scene where Lisbeth's laptop is stolen and she fights to get it back and catch her train required a bit of time to shoot due to the technical needs required to make it, a very interesting and really good look at how this was done.

Featurette - Fuck These People: One of the scenes that was set in the cottage was meant to be set outside but rain kept interrupting the filming of that version of the scene, this is the featurette that goes into the attempts to shoot it, there's even a fun bit of Craig singing "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head"

Featurette - The End: A general look at the much debated final scene in the movie in terms of the meaning behind it and the shooting of it, I quite liked the scene myself though I can understand why some would have a problem with it though I think its due to Mara's hidden warmth that the scene comes across the way it does.

Featurette - Picture Wrap: A general overlook at the wrapping of the shooting with a small scene in the Vanger archives with Lisbeth, a pretty cool feature.

From there we now go to the Hollywood section of the shoot with 7 features.

Featurette - Casting Armansky: A pretty cool feature with Goran Visnjic talking about his audition for the part of Armansky which we see some of in this feature, Visnjic comes across as pretty cool here and pretty funny as well.

Armansky Audition: The full audition of Visnjic as he goes up for the role of Armansky, interesting to see but probably not more than once.

Featurette - Thinking Evil Shit: Like the creation of the scene with Lisbeth's laptop theft, this is another small scene in the film that required some technical trickery to pull off as well as giving the viewer a look at what was first intended for the scene.

Featurette - Rape/Revenge: One of the best featurettes on the disc talks about the making of some of the most violent scenes in the film, all involved give very interesting takes on the scenes and some thoughtful observations on those involved, probably the best featurette on the disc.

Featurette - Int. Blomkvist's College: A look at filming inside Blomkvist's college.

Featurette - Int. Martin's House: A look at Fincher directing scenes inside Martin's House.

Featurette - Int. Salander's Apt: Another firsthand look at filming inside the Salander's Apartment set.

With the Production side now finished, it's time to go into the Post Production section in which there are 4 sections.

Featurette - In the Cutting Room: A look at the editing process in the film in terms of editing key sequences and how they were put together into the film as a whole, we also see Fincher working with his editors in terms of the then current cut they are showing to him, both editors (Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall) rightly won a Best Editing Oscar for their work on this movie.

Featurette - ADR: A 6 and a half minute look at Fincher and some of the actors doing ADR work on the film, interesting to watch maybe once but it's nice to see this feature here as it's a part of the process we don't see very often.

Multi Angle Main Title Sequence: This was a really cool feature, it's basically a 3 way look at the impressive main title sequence that opens the film, the 3 ways to watch it are an early concept version, an early wireframe version and the final title sequence without the production credits.

There's also an option to watch all three at once and there's an optional commentary by its creator Tim Miller who gives us a brief look at what his ideas were and the notes he got from Fincher on the creation of this sequence, its really cool to see but I wish it was longer as it's such an impressive scene to watch no matter how many times you've seen it.

Visual Effects Montage: Essentially an 8 minute montage of scenes being altered with visual effects, worth watching probably once.

With Post Production out of the way, it's time to head to the Promotional section.

Hard Copy Viral Video: A 9 minute viral video created by David Prior to help promote the movie on the internet, it's a really interesting piece of promotional material and its made all the more fun by the VHS artefacts scattered throughout it.

Prior's commentary is also fascinating as it covers some of the original ideas planned, the notion of memory as media in our modern age and how this particular special was created, it's a really good listen and its worth taking the time to do so (Prior is also the creator of the extras on this 2 disc set)

Trailers: 4 Trailers are presented here including the very cool teaser set to Reznor's cover of the Immigrant Song and three more general trailers to help promote the film, I really liked seeing these here as most Blu-Ray releases don't bother putting the trailers on their releases so it's great to see them here, not to mention seeing the red band teaser in the cinema earlier this year was a real treat as it looked and sounded great on the big screen.

TV Spots: 7 TV Spots are presented here as well, these act as a nice companion piece to the collection of trailers in this section though I doubt you will watch these more than once I must admit.

Metal One Sheet: This feature (the last in this section) looks at the creation of a metal version of one of the posters created for the film, it's said these have gone for quite a bit of money at auction.

Any Further Objections?:

After such a thorough and thoughtful package that covers just about everything you could ever want to see covered when it comes to the making of the film I wish the post production section had a bit more in it as it does feel a bit light compared to the other sections, I mean there's nothing on Reznor and Ross's great score or the sound design as a whole but sadly that is due to the schedule Prior had as he has stated that he simply didn't have the time to interview Reznor, Ross or Klyce for the disc and that is a real shame as a look at those would've made this set feel complete but still after devouring the extras this really just feels like a minor nitpick.

And on one last note, if you put both discs into your Blu-Ray player and play them for a period of time and then press stop and eject them out of the player, when you put them back in a pop up will come up asking you if want to resume where you left off, a really nice touch.

Overall:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a fantastic Blu-Ray release and one of the best I've seen for the format as it delivers near perfect Audio/Visual quality and a remarkable array of extras that aren't just the usual press materials slapped on most releases but extras that truly take you behind the scenes as the film is being made and put together, I can see now why Fincher has won so much acclaim for his home video releases as this one was fantastic and comes with my highest recommendation.

Film Review - The Untouchables (1987)

The Untouchables stars Kevin Costner as Elliott Ness, an agent with the Treasury department who is assigned to the city of Chicago to stop the flow of illegal alcohol in the period known as Prohibition, at the heart of this is kingpin Al Capone (Robert De Niro) but his reach is far and wide in Chicago and to stop him Ness will need his own handpicked team of men to carry out the job.

25 years since its original release in June of 1987 (September 3rd in Australian cinemas), the Untouchables stands up very well indeed and a lot of that is the involvement of director Brian de Palma who infuses the film with his trademark directorial style and the script by then playwright David Mamet which is full of great lines that are still quoted today when it comes up, lines like Connery's famous "The Chicago Way" monologue and his "He Brings a Knife to a Gunfight."

Which then brings me to my next point which is the performances, almost everyone in this film is very well cast from Costner in one of his better roles to Connery in his Oscar winning performance to people like Andy Garcia, Charles Martin Smith who both do a good job in their roles (this was Garcia's first big role) and even down to De Niro as Capone which was an inspired choice (the part was originally offered to Bob Hoskins) and Billy Drago as Netti who oozes evil with his mere presence on screen with his slimy face and perfect white suit.

But there is one other person who also deserves major kudos and that is composer Ennio Morricone, best known for his work on the Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Westerns and Sergio Leone's Once Upon a Time in America, Morricone crafts a great score that puts you in the right mood and is used effectively to help the on screen action as well as open the film powerfully with the great main titles music that puts you in the mood for the film about to unfold.

So all in all, the Untouchables is a finely crafted piece of filmmaking and if you haven't seen it yet or you have but not for a good while then do not hesitate like someone bringing a knife to a gunfight to see the film for the first time or to experience it all over again, it's well worth doing so, 4 and a half out of 5.

Film Review - The Presidio (1988)

The Presidio stars Sean Connery as Lt. Col Caldwell and Mark Harmon as SFPD cop Jay Austin, the two are investigating a murder at the Presidio military base in San Francisco, but while that is going on Austin gets eyes for Caldwell's daughter Donna (Meg Ryan), something that will surely complicate matters as they go about their case of who committed the murder.

I went into the Presidio with VERY low expectations as after watching the trailer I said to myself "How on Earth can a movie with Sean Connery, Mark Harmon and Meg Ryan look so boring" but nonetheless I decided to check it out to see if I was right or wrong, either one would do right?

Well, funnily enough I have to put myself somewhere in the middle on this film, don't get me wrong I don't hate it and the actors are good especially Connery who pretty much steals the show and takes this very average script and makes something of it, Ryan shows off some of her future spunk and Harmon pretty much plays a precursor to his hit character on the TV series NCIS.

And yet with those actors and Peter Hyams as director/cinematographer who also does a good job with his action scenes and getting performances from his 3 leads, I wanted something more from it, something like a central villain in the piece to help tie the whole show together and give the viewer a sense that this movie is firing on all cylinders and giving them something very satisfying given the high pedigree this film has in front of and behind the camera.

And to illustrate this point further, Die Hard came out the same year and is as known for Alan Rickman's marvellous performance as Hans Gruber as well as Bruce Willis as John McClane, this movie feels like Die Hard without Gruber and could any of you honestly imagine Die Hard without him?

Anyone?

(cricket noises)

Didn't think so.

Okay to wrap this up, I didn't hate this movie but as I said, this needed a strong central villain to elevate above the average action fare, the 4 key players involved do a good job though without Connery, this borders on being a decent but ultimately forgettable flick, 2 and a half out of 5.

Film Review - Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2012)

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is based off a successful novel by John le Carre and concerns a Soviet mole in MI6, one that George Smiley (Gary Oldman) must ferret out of the service.

Okay so here's the thing about TTSS and that is I found it to be merely okay, it wasn't a terrible movie by any stretch of the imagination but it also was one that didn't win me over as it had others, mainly due to its execution as a movie in and of itself, I felt that the story as told would work best as a miniseries on television rather than as a 2 hour film mainly because you could go into more detail on the hunt for the mole and the slow burn it is better whereas in this movie scenes and plot points seem to come out of nowhere without any explanation or context to explain it though the films ending does go a long way to rectify this I must admit.

On the other hand, the sense of detail in the film is magnificent, it has a very English feel to it all with the slightly industrial streets, the cups of tea and slices of toast even down to the olds mobiles driven throughout the movie, the film also has a fantastic ensemble cast, one of the best in the last decade for not only do you have Oldman you have Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, John Hurt, Benedict Cumberbatch, Colin Firth and more and they're all very good but Oldman is the standout with the look on his face saying so much and yet so little at the same time, its a terrific performance that I'm pleased to see rewarded in the awards season.

So all in all, TTSS 2011 was okay but not great and the only reason I would recommend it was for Oldman who is simply that good in the film, 2 out of 5.

Film Review - Highlander 3: The Sorcerer (1995)

Highlander 3 – The Sorcerer ignores the 2nd Highlander film completely and tries to continue the story of Connor MacLeod from the clan MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) as he trekked to Japan to learn from the sorcerer Nakano (Mako) but an evil immortal named Kane (Mario Van Peebles) finds them and Nakano sacrifices himself to save MacLeod, Kane vows revenge against MacLeod and in the end, there can be only one.

I went into Highlander 3 with low expectations as while I loved the first Highlander film, the second was a disgrace so how could this be any worse?

Well, it actually was worse mainly because the story feels so god damn pointless and so much of it is just a rip off the first film from the use of the Scottish highlands to the detective character and even down to the love interest played by Deborah Kara Unger who just feels like a rehash of Brenda from the first film.

But my two biggest bug bears are these and I’ll go into those below:

First is Kane himself, frankly he just comes across as a clone of the Kurgan and sounding like one of Dr. Claw’s ancestors, I mean you could literally imagine him saying “I’ll get you next time MacLeod, NEXT TIME” and he’s not even threatening whereas Clancy Brown as the Kurgan was menacing and fearsome at the same time, he’s even worse than Michael Ironside was in number 2 and all he did was laugh manically for most of the movie.

The other is the splicing in of clips from the first Highlander film and like the use of the Queen songs in the 2nd film it feels like an insult as both of those things only serve to remind us of just how good the first Highlander really was, compared to both of these movies which are just pale pale shadows of the original.

Oh and lastly, the movie looks really cheap, at least the 2nd film had a pretty neat look to it with its swooping camera shots, big sets and an overall old fashioned look that is somewhat lost now in the digital age, here everything just looks tacky and cheap and boy is it noticeable after the great look of the first two films.

You know, throughout this movie they say “There can be Only One” but they no not its meaning, to say “There can be Only One” means that while immortals may team up to fight a common enemy in the end they must fight each other in order to progress to the time of the Gathering and fight for the Prize in which case well you get the idea, that line could also apply to this film series as well you get the idea and to repeat it would be just silly on my part but you should just rent the original Highlander from 86 and leave it at that as everything that came after is just frankly pointless, .5 out of 5.

Film Review - Attack the Block (2011)

Attack the Block concerns a group of young kids led by Moses (John Boyega) who mug a young woman walking home from the Tube Station in a South London council estate, but whilst doing so an alien capsule lands on a nearby car which the young kids kill, soon more aliens land and the fight for the block begins.

I’d heard a lot about Attack the Block before I saw it but was still really looking forward to it due to the director Joe Cornish and producer Edgar Wright, with that how was it?

Well, to my surprise it exceeded my expectations and the film itself was a whole lot of fun and highly energetic, Cornish imbues the film with a very unique feel with slang that reminded me of the first Mad Max film in that it was colourful and added to the identity of the film itself.

Though the biggest influence for me was Aliens, in terms of the pacing, the tension and the creatures themselves which are quite a sight and much better than the Chimera type alien in JJ Abrams’s Super 8 which you never really got a good look at, here you get the chance to see the alien in its full glory and in action which is very tense at times.

All in all, a fun British alien invasion flick worth your time and money, 3 and a half out of 5.

The Avengers Round 2: The Third Dimension in the Nine Realms

Having seen the Avengers once before, I decided to go back and see it for a 2nd time mainly because I had a lot of fun the first time around and I wanted to pick up on the details I probably missed the first time around due to audience unrest in the early scenes which spell out the plot, the unrest being waiting for others to arrive, people waiting for friends to come and younguns wanting either the toilet or to get snacks, all of which is why people should come EARLY not 20 minutes after the scheduled session start.

This session however was to be in 3D as that was the only afternoon session that fitted in with when I was to be in that area that day (the 3D sessions would also be easier to program as well as all you would have to do is load the file, thanks to digital projection.) so with that, how was it on round 2.

On my 2nd showing, I had a blast, the runtime flew by and my favourite Avenger has to now be Tony Stark/Iron Man, Downey just completely owns this role and has a ball playing off the other actors such as Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth and Mark Ruffalo, who also each get their own moments to shine, I also really liked Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner in their roles and watching Johansson in this reminded me what a lovely actress she is and how fetching she is with red hair, it really suits her.

But if there is a negative it has to be the 3D, quite frankly this is simply retrofitted rubbish and anyone seeing this movie (what's that I hear, you haven't seen it yet well what are you waiting for sonny boy, a written invitation, go and see it) should see it in 2D instead as the 3D here will hurt your eyes big time and it looks so god damn blurry, easily the worst 3D I have ever encountered and to be frank, if you saw this film in 2D on a nice big screen, properly projected and with good sound, you will have just as good if not a better big screen experience.

So that's that on Avengers round 2, well worth it and nearly $750 million dollars of box office takings worldwide is showing that others are seeing it more than once and hey I can't blame them, it takes the Summer Blockbuster and nails it down to an exact science of comedy, characters and action and that is nothing to argue about at all.

Film Review - Happy Feet 2 (2011)

Happy Feet 2 is the sequel to the 2006 animated film Happy Feet also directed by George Miller (Mad Max), the story in this new movie is that Mumble (Elijah Wood) now has a son named Eric who like Mumble in the first movie is an outcast among his people, so he heads out into the world to find his own place and help his people in the process.

I went into Happy Feet 2 with low expectations as while I kinds liked the first Happy Feet film it did lose its way towards the end which did not put me in good stead for this sequel, with that how was the film?

Well, this is very much that classic case of having low expectations to start with and the film itself pretty much hitting rock bottom, I don't think this movie works in any way at all, in fact it has to my mind a real vibe of Miller's 1985 Mad Max sequel Beyond Thunderdome, why you ask well I'll outline my reasons below:

Firstly like Beyond Thunderdome there is no real coherent storyline driving this movie, all it feels like is a bunch of individual bits thrown together to make a 90 minute movie, now George Miller has made Mad Max 1 and 2 both of which were outstanding and even the first Babe and Happy Feet movies were good fun in and of themselves so why on Earth is this happening, I honestly thought Miller knew better than this, you can't just throw story ideas together into a feature film and hope that something, somewhere will stick out, it just doesn't work that way people and Miller should've known better.

And secondly the movie is just so god damn dull, almost right away the dark clouds of boredom descend and start to rain on the person watching it and during one of the many musical numbers you start wishing for them to start doing "Star Spangled Man" from Captain America, at least that would've alleviated the boredom I felt.

There was one thing however I did like and that was Will and Bill the Krill voiced by Matt Damon and Brad Pitt, their story was very funny but it made me wish those characters got better treatment, hopefully they will get some small pre-feature toons in the future as I was wishing that whilst watching them and as for Pink replacing Brittany Murphy well it just made me miss Murphy in the role and sad that a talented actress like her is gone.

All in all, skip this movie, don't rent it as it's not worth your time and its a waste of a director like George Miller who is despite this film being pretty much a complete failure a very talented director, I sincerely hope that his long delayed 4th instalment in the Mad Max series is successful though given the rock bottom expectations I have for that film as it is I can't say I'm optimistic for it having any real chance of success when it finally appears in cinemas around the world, 1 out of 5.

Film Review - Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier (1989)

Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier is directed by William Shatner and concerns Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock as well as the crew of the Starship Enterprise facing off against a Vulcan called Sybok (Lawrence Luckinbill) who may have a past history with Mr. Spock, his plan to find Shakka-Ri which lies at the centre of the galaxy.

I went into Star Trek 5 with very low expectations having heard how bad the film was over the years since its original release in 1989 but I wanted to watch it anyway so was it really as bad as I’d heard?

Well, it was and more so, this movie simply doesn’t work at any way at all and the blame has to go on Shatner, he doesn’t make anything work and you just sit there scratching your head at what you are watching unfold, the special effects look pathetically put together and the actors for the most part simply come across as having no idea what to do in their scenes at all.

But my biggest problem with this movie is the storyline, it simply doesn’t work as it has irrational shifts in tone from serious themes of life, death, loyalty, comradery and the search for higher meaning in the galaxy to outright slapstick humour and poor one liners that simply aren’t very funny and as if that wasn’t enough the story takes two thirds of its running time to get going meaning that you simply sit there watching a lot of filler scenes to pad out the runtime, that is just not only pathetic but also incompetent.

But I did like one thing about this movie and that is the score by Jerry Goldsmith, it has some very nice themes in it and helps to lift the film out of its doldrums but even then that just sounds like faint praise.

All in all, this movie is an irrational, illogical mess and if a real Vulcan were to watch this movie, they too would turn irrational and illogical and would then want to kill the person responsible for showing it to them in a battle to the death while the national anthem from Decapod 10 plays in the background, humans meanwhile would feel like they have had their own logic and intelligence ripped out of them and stuffed with stupid instead and that would be the one word I’d use to describe this movie, its just made of stupid, 0 out of 5.